there are too many angry people in this world!
aggrivated people who get annoyed easier than they have to
and they dont even realize it

our door to get into our house isnt working right
all you have to do is push it forward a little, then pull it and it will work
but my brother was coming in the other day
and he was hitting the door and shaking it and everything
when he came in i told him he didnt need to force it so much and that it was fine without it
then he got mad at me because he thought it was ridiculous

sometimes youve just gotta relax a bit
or chillax as i like to say
when i went out to eat last night i asked the waitress for a refill on my drink
it took her about 10 minutes to get it, but i never told her to get it again
i patiently waited
soon enough it came

just chill

ok i wanted you people to define love because its my homework

mrs streeter expects us to do that

i am currently getting inspiration for a really fun blog but i dont have time to do it tonight because i always have things going on so i will (hopefully) do it this weekend

\/Answer my question below! \/

define love

by the end of this piece i realized i have an obsession with 8th grade girls

you know what i hate about high school?

there is no kathy

whenever i needed to tell someone something, id wait for chorus and ask to sit next to kathy then wed talk

its not like that anymore

yah i can tell some people some things

but not like i did with her, i didnt skimp on anything really
maybe some things

im gunna copy tiv and do one of those things to everybody

so

kathy- hey... so yah, i miss you. i didnt really realize how much you meant to me until now that youre gone. i could use one of you. there is something so stress relieving, calming, easy-to-talk-to thing about you. i miss that. do chorus next year, altos sit in front of the basses so you can sit in front of me and we can chill. <3

tiv- idk where to start...i loved talking to you all last year. i have no more IM and i actually know you now. its weird. i loved those therapy sessions where i would just ask what was going on and if there was anything you wanted to talk about. we need a deep conversation. thats the thing about friends, they should be able to have both good conversations and fun ones, and i miss them from you because you give the best of both

hannah- ha... ha...umm you realize there is no point in this i dont need you, you dont need me thing. who cares even if it is true (not saying it ). does it make a difference. we tend to complicate things too much. CHILL

myzee- i have taken my long hug to the next level. I do it to a couple more people now and it is super fun. I will never forget that. I miss not being there for you. not knowing whats going on, so i cant help. i guess thats the price you pay for being older

nicole- oh nicole...i am telling you, one of my hugs will make it all better so when i ask you for a hug you need to take advantage of it girl. otherwise idk. i havent really been in your place before so just hold on to your friends. theyll always do you good

cass- BFFN! what is up? we havent done one of our awesome hugs in a while. i miss just chilling with you and making fun of your fruitiness. its fun. no harm meant though. ill always love you even though you stalked me :)

helen- friend. umm yah. so. i havent talked to you in a while. i dont really have anything to say but yah

erica- guess what. i love you. you knew that i bet. its weird not being in school with you. having no ones hand to slip my hand into. no one to pass notes with. well i take that back. no one to pass notes like we do with. btw i found out someone ELSE likes me. liked me. whatever. idk who it is yet. but twas funny. you need to come over to my house over xmas vaca. itll be weird to remember us doing the same thing last year ya know?

To all- i wore a sweater today. it was awesome. i like vanilla candles, though you probably knew that. i wish i was a small animal. something that would make life harder. like not emotionally like they way it is now but like, actually hard to stay alive. just for a little while though. if you had 9 lives, what would you do with them?

?

none of you are answering my question

Once again, i feel so clueless

like everything,
every question
every asnwer
every story
every thing i should know

is right in front of me

unlike any of the rest of you, im in high school
i have homework and i am doing basketball

thats all i do
erica knows
i have no time to even talk to her on the phone anymore

and while i am playing and doing work, things are happening

that i feel so blinded to
problems
all of you
have problems
and i cant help if i dont know, and it makes me feel bad that i dont

erica emailed me and told me that two days of school this week had been the worst 2 days of her life
i still have no idea what happened
and i am yearning to know

then there is hannah
there is ALWAYS hannah
i think she assumes i know whats going on

i dont

im so lost
i dont know what to say to that girl anymore
i swear, i want to delete every email

but i know i cant, for her sake

now im not saying i dont need her
thats not true
i just think that our relationship with each other is much different than anything that were used to

yah school's keepin me busy
ive finally established my group of friends for the year
took me a while i know
but still

molly is in that group (i really hope she gets to read this)
yah cora thinks she likes me
idk if she does but whatever
so cora tells molly that she would pay her 80 bucks if shed kiss me
molly thought about it for a second and said make it 200
cora said ok

i was like "molly dont do anything stupid"
she didnt, but ill tell ya, i was scared there for a second

weve had 2 basketball games
were 1-1
ive scored 10 points on the season
i dont get the ball enough
cole has made two buzzer beater beyond half court shots
while most of the team said o my god
riley used the phrase "hole f**ker"
it was funny

were singing "little saint nick" for mens chorus
i hope you know that song
its a great song, but i really want you to take a look at the words if you get a chance

im hungry

i have a question...am i able to have a serious conversation?

earlier this year i said that i wanted to watch more NBA basketball
arent i ridiculous?
more sports
but yah ive been doin well
ive seen more celts games already than all of last year
i know the team like the back of my hand

i bet nobody read this far

nobody cares about the REAL life of me
nobody ever does

who honestly wants to hear about some of this stuff
i know i dont
i would have stopped reading it halfway through

so yah
i want comments on this

p.s. im a horrible person

^that is my new excuse for everything because it is SO TRUE

??

Did I do something wrong?

Its so much different with her

shes so much harder to talk to
you guys have all seen me
I talk to anyone
I am extremely outgoing
even with people i dont like, i can talk to

not her

i guess its because im afraid
i know its silly, but im afraid that everything that went wrong the first time
will happen again

its like if i talk to her, bad things will happen
if i dont talk to her, well forget that because we all know that she or I will not allow that
and if i talk to her but dont, ya know what i mean where you just have meaningless conversation,
yah that wont happen because weve been trying that for a couple months now and i cant stand it





I dont think she realizes how hard it is
for me to be friends with her

how much work and decisions i put into just this low quality relationship we have now

she expects more out of me
but im afraid of what more will do

and it seems like there is nowhere to run

(im going to end with a quote because i think that other people can get my point across better than i can)

after all, "its not easy...to be...me"

Dreams

what is the point of a dream?
not like a goal like in the title of my blog

but the kind that you have during sleep
its like there is no point
some people believe its a warning for later events

but honestly, how many times have you had a dream and ir related back to your life

maybe its just a work of imagination
maybe we dont use it enough during the day that it has to be used at night when we are unconcious

thats probably why we dont have dreams some nights
some days we do use our imagination

i bet you have figured out by now that i had a disturbing dream last night

ya know the kind where the people you love hate you and the people you hate love you

and youre not acting yourself
during the dream you ask "why the hek did I do that, i would never do such a thing"
but yah
thats annoying

it makes you feel bad about yourself...

Dont worry be happy

I promise i will write something meaningful soon...I just need inspiration so sit tight

...

I'm here