Its so much different with her

shes so much harder to talk to
you guys have all seen me
I talk to anyone
I am extremely outgoing
even with people i dont like, i can talk to

not her

i guess its because im afraid
i know its silly, but im afraid that everything that went wrong the first time
will happen again

its like if i talk to her, bad things will happen
if i dont talk to her, well forget that because we all know that she or I will not allow that
and if i talk to her but dont, ya know what i mean where you just have meaningless conversation,
yah that wont happen because weve been trying that for a couple months now and i cant stand it





I dont think she realizes how hard it is
for me to be friends with her

how much work and decisions i put into just this low quality relationship we have now

she expects more out of me
but im afraid of what more will do

and it seems like there is nowhere to run

(im going to end with a quote because i think that other people can get my point across better than i can)

after all, "its not easy...to be...me"